


Collection

by Toonfreak



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Shorts, Silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:37:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toonfreak/pseuds/Toonfreak
Summary: Rose Quartz LOVES all of Earth’s organic life!!!...even if the plants and animals don’t give the Crystal Gems the same...adoration.





	1. Fuzzy Green Friend!

No one could argue.

Rose Quartz LOVED organic life! She LOVED animals! She LOVED plants! She LOVED fresh air!

Rose Quartz LOVED the Earth.

Greg (in some ways) was incredibly lucky. Greg didn’t have to see what his love-to-be went through during her various stages of (what Pearl could only refer to as:) “unhealthy addiction”.

To Amethyst’s absolute joy, the latest addiction was mold.

The temple smelled absolutely awful.

There was black mold, green mold, white mold. Every inch of the place had been covered in fuzzy pieces of bread, containers of murky water, and various...cultures of mysterious origin.

Pearl gagged slightly as the warp activated after a mission, and the Crystal Gems landed in the petri-dish that was now the temple.  
“STARS!!!” Pearl held her nose in offense! Garnet said nothing- although several tears of internal pain could be seen falling from under her visor.

“OH! PEARL! LOOK!” Rose chirped in joy as she grabbed one of the rancid pieces of bread. “It GREW!”  
The leader held the bread uncomfortably close to Pearl’s face-stars in her eyes!

As offended as the Gem was, she DID NOT want to upset Rose-she decided to put on airs. “OH! Oh....that’s...WONDERFUL Rose! Look at it go! Yes...” Pearl gagged again slightly, attempting to hold her composure.

The Crystal Gem’s leader squealed with glee!

Garnet decided to leave the base as quickly and discreetly as possible. The mold smell was especially aggravating to her Ruby side. The fusion silently cursed to herself-hoping her great leader’s most recent interest was not going to last as long as she had seen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a funny, stupid idea I had for a set of shorts!
> 
> Look forward to insects, microscopic stuff, massive carnivores, and smelly plant life!  
XD


	2. Needle-Nosed Friend!

It was several weeks later when Rose discovered a NEW creature had nested inside one of her (more wet) mold plants!

It was a teeny-tiny insect! With long legs, transparent wings, and an unusually long nose!

"PEARL! PEARL! Look at THIS!"

The Pearl (unenthusiastically) walked over to the jar of water, before spotting the bug.

"VERMIN!" The Gem was about to swat the insect away, before her beloved Rose wailed: "PEARL! NO! It's ALIVE!" The Quartz blocked the tiny bug with her entire body, looking at her friend with the saddest eyes!

Pearl huffed in frustration. She didn't know WHAT this new creature was...but if it enjoyed living in a wet jar of mold, it probably wasn't terribly sanitary.

...and yet...

...Rose loved the...whatever it was. She could not harm it.

\------------------

Over the next few weeks, the stacks of old bread were replaced by shallow tubs of water. The creatures were so...small...and yet seemed quite prone to biting.

They would float on the surface of the water, bite things with their needle-like noses, lay eggs, and bite again.

Garnet was particularly skilled with keeping the insects away by using her future vision to smack at swarms quickly without harming the annoying things. She would have preferred using her electricity, but was scolded by Rose when using it once- resulting in a flock of mosquitoes falling to the floor.

Amethyst found these..."mosquitoes" MUCH more annoying than the mold- and would often transform into one just to avoid getting nipped at.

\------------------

The swarm grew and grew! The mosquitos just kept multiplying more and more!

Strangely enough, Rose was the ONLY Gem the creatures never bothered. It was almost as if her kind aura acted as a natural mosquito repellent.

Pearl found the insects bothersome. They always attempted to nip her, became frustrated, and proceeded to fly out of the base in order to find a more sustainable meal. The Pearl suddenly found herself incredibly lucky that Gems did NOT have any blood...although their noses DID hurt. She also found herself counting her blessings that all her friends were (apparently) immune to getting the itchy welts that Humans reported.

\------------------

The final straw came after returning from a long day of fighting corrupted Gems. The group warped back home...

...

...and IMMEDIATELY FOUND THEMSELVES ENTIRELY COVERED IN WINGS, LEGS, AND NEEDLES!

Rose gasped as her three friends were swarmed with clouds of evil! There...there were too many needles! The swarms dispersed- leaving four poofed gemstones behind!

The Quartz wept in guilt! It seemed her mosquito friends were terribly confused- and had continually mistaken her friends for REAL sources of food- despite never getting a drop of nutrition from ANY of them!

The Crystal Gem leader knew she would have to get rid of her mosquito pals...

"GORP!" In an exciting fling of tongue spray, several of the insects disappeared!

In their place was a massive, green, frog!

"GORP!" The amphibian croaked in pride as Rose looked upon the ugly creature- stars in her eyes again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support guys!
> 
> ...As I'm writing this, I can hear something rustling in the attic. I think we have squirrels again...
> 
> -_-;;;


	3. Slimy Hopping Friend!

The frogs were much more popular.

The little hopping creatures made a quick meal of the pesky mosquitoes. Garnet felt especially nostalgic- remembering her first date with...herself; where Ruby had gifted Sapphire a frog as a token of love.

Pearl still seemed rather annoyed. The creatures were slimy, and often hopped under foot. The Gem found herself standing at attention more- just to avoid accidentally stepping on anything. It reminded her of the days on Homeworld- where she would sometimes stand for days at a time.

\------------------

As it turns out, frogs were a fairly common creature on Earth. During missions, Rose would find all sorts of various colors and species!

To the absolute mortification of Pearl, Rose often asked her to store the creatures in her gemstone's pocket space. This resulted in her own personal collection of items being covered in "frog slime", and the unpleasant sensation of having dozens of frogs spill out from her forehead every time the group returned to base.

\------------------

Amethyst was...conflicted by the creatures.

She LOVED that they bothered Pearl so much!

She ADORED the way they hopped about!

However, their nightly serenade of "croaks", "chirps", and "gorps" made it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to nap.

...An annoyance for sure.

Amethyst found herself sleeping outside more frequently...just to get away from the din.

\-------------------

Eventually, the mosquitoes disappeared, and thus, so did the frogs. Without a source of food, the massive herd migrated in the middle of the night to the nearby forest.

Rose awoke the next morning- devastated that her collection had (literally) "hopped away"!

Pearl sympathized (even though she hated the wretched things), and managed to find a discarded piece of shell while walking along the beach.

While the shell piece was a...POOR replacement, its silhouette resembled a lumpy frog...kinda.

She gifted the prize to Rose, whom hugged her in return!

The leader chirped: "It's wonderful Pearl! A frog that will never run away!" The Quartz smiled with gratitude!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pearl puts up with a LOT of stuff. LOL! XD
> 
> Been feeling rather ill the last few days- dizzy, nausea, lack of appetite etc. It's been...kinda lonely, actually. I've been trying to keep hydrated at least...but feeling sick is NO FUN.
> 
> :(
> 
> I can STILL hear that squirrel in the attic BTW...
> 
> -_-;;;;;


	4. Smelly Cat Friend!

Rose needed some alone time.

She decided to visit the nearby forest. It was tranquil here...perfect for walks...plus, she might be able to get some of her frogs back!

As she wandered along, a sudden rustling in the bushes caught her eye! The Gem withdrew her sword and shield- ready to defend herself!

...

To the quartz' surprise, a cute fuzzy cat exposed itself to the outside world! It was pure black with a white stripe going down the middle. As the thing waddled along, Rose noted that its small head and large claws looked a bit..."off" for a regular kitten. Still, the animal was fuzzy, cute, and needed a home!

Rose picked the thing up with very little resistance. She always had a way with these creatures. The cat began to sleep in her arms.

\------------------

Upon returning to the base, the leader displayed her new pet to Pearl.

The Gem immediately screeched in horror, waking the poor creature! "ROSE! That's NOT a CAT, it's a..."

Spooked by the Pearl's screeches, the skunk did what came naturally...

"FFFFFFFTTTT!"

The spray filled the cave in a horrific odor cloud! In the tussle of the moment, the skunk quickly found its way to the ground, and bolted from the base as quickly as possible.

The poor Crystal Gems were left behind, coughing and sputtering from the horrific smell.

Rose blushed horribly. It was an honest mistake...it really DID look like a cat to her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP....looks like a massive hurricane is barreling towards me....AGAIN. (grumble)
> 
> (Secretly prays that the power stays on long enough for me to see the SU movie on the 2nd.....)
> 
> ...at least the squirrel that dug into the attic will be safe....
> 
> -_-;;;;


	5. Pretty Plant Friend!

Something had to be done about the SMELL. GOOD LORD was it unbearable! At this point, Pearl was SO desperate, she would've preferred the MOLD.

The Sword-Wielding Gem set herself out on her OWN mission...a mission to find an organic...SOMETHING that would even-out the smell.

\------------------

After days of unpleasantly scouting (and smelling) the wilderness, the Gem was terribly unsuccessful with her quest. She decided to walk into the nearby human village to find some perfume-it was better than nothing.

Here, a small human approached the Pearl-WAY too close for comfort! The little girl crinkled her nose in the most offensive way, before being rudely blunt. "I'm supposed to sell these flowers- but YOU can have one for free. You smell bad!"

Pearl huffed in offense, before the human wandered off. What a horrific BRUTE of a being! It wasn't HER fault she smelled like skunk!

Pearl's attention went back to the flower. It DEFINITELY smelled better than a skunk! The Gem recalled seeing similar plants in the forest, but had ignored them out of pure frustration.

Perhaps if she went back and picked some of her own...

\------------------

When Rose returned that night, she was pleasantly surprised to see that the ENTIRE cave had been covered by a MASSIVE bouquet wall!

"Oh! How lovely!" The Rose Quartz began to cry in endless bliss! Her tears hitting the floor...

...

It only took a few seconds, but those few seconds were critical.

The flowers bloomed to their full potential!

They turned pink!

Roots took hold!

Stems grew!

A massive aroma filled the entire base- eliminating the skunk odor almost immediately!

"Goodness!" Pearl was pleasantly surprised as she attempted to climb over the (now overgrown) flora. She was certainly NOT expecting her friend's gratitude to effect the plant life so drastically!

"Oh Pearl! What a wonderful surprise! You got rid of that retched smell too!"

The two embraced! Nothing could ruin this moment NOW...

...except, something DID.

"OW! QUIT STEPPING ON ME!"

Pearl jumped as one of the flowers began...SPEAKING?! From down below?! "What the STARS?!"

"I'm thirsty!"

"Me too..."

"There's not enough sun in here!"

"That one pulled me by my stem earlier today! What a BRUTE!"

"Get a room you two!"

Pearl blushed horribly, as Rose chuckled. "Oh my...I AM sorry Pearl...it seems my tears were a bit too...err..."powerful"?" The leader giggled with embarrassment.

Pearl mumbled something under her breath. At least the skunk smell was gone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I caved in and bought Minecraft (and its Steven Universe DLC) for my Nintendo Switch.
> 
> ....
> 
> It is ABSOLUTELY LOVELY! I wanted to make my own Gem-themed structures with it!
> 
> .....
> 
> ........
> 
> ...........It is only now, that I realize I have NO CLUE how to play Minecraft. (feels old)
> 
> ^_^;;;;


End file.
